Aai jittie kyk net vir Blue Route!

So, I finally went to check out the new super mall that Blue Route has become. That place hasn't had an upgrade since the early 90s I think. The complex was always a shopping area, before it was even called Blue Route it was simply called Multi-Market (kak name), and had the main supermarket along with other little stores around it.

My first memory of going to Blue Route when it first came out as Blue Route all redone and made to look "modern", was when I went to see a "Duck Tales "movie when I was about 6 years old.

The cinema was the coolest section of the mall and went to see many other films during my childhood over there. One of the highlights in waiting in line by the movie theatres was a pair of mannequin legs that were attached to the ceiling with bright neon trippy paint swirled around them to look like a body was coming through from a different dimension. It really was the centre piece with the loud music playing the background. It really got kids excited just to be in the cinema.

To the Blue Route cinema and beyond!

Not all my memories of 'ol Blue Route are fond, I once had a flying cockroach land in my neck. I screamed in terror and disgust in front of Clicks and went running into B-Box the old knitwear store while I collected my sanity in the changing room.

The crime site of my terror. Can you spot the flying cockroach?

Eventually,  Blue Route became uncool as many trendy stores either closed down or moved out. It became a place for taanies (old mothers and aunties) to go shopping and only laaties (little kids) or cheap people went to Blue Route to watch movies. I think the mall bosses didn't like what Blue Route had become and the crowd it attracted, because of the cheaper stores and convenient location for many.

Well, now the old Blue tropical themed mall is gone! The blue perspex water theme with it's surrounding palm tree paradise mimicking the luxury of Miami are all demolished.

Good bye tropical paradise.....

Instead, on entering the new mall I was welcomed into a building that looked a lot like the Enterprise space ship from Star Trek,  with it's chic design lifting two opposing roof arches showing many cadet stations and docking ports as it looks yonder Tokai's skyline.

Wouldn't be surprised if thee was a helipad somewhere in there.

Far out Blue Route!

Even walking inside was like walking through a spaceship, with it's sweeping layered design, bright blue lights, steel and perspex railings with soft little lights all over. It felt a bit like Cavendish, and had that same dreamy affect to make you feel glamourous enough to spend money with delight.

Inside the new Blue Route.....

.....and inside a spaceship. Let's play spot the difference.

I won't even go into how upbeat the cinema looks, and it's playing all the recent films. The eating areas are nice too and there are actually more places to eat that's NOT ONLY KENTUCKY. Clearly, focusing on the more finer tastes for it's new crowds.

There are more expensive stores now and the way it's layout, it even makes the cheaper stores look classy. Although I doubt, your average lady from Lavender Hill will be indulging in the latest from La Senza. Don't think they accept lay-byes.

Blue Route is still under construction now, as they are making way for the new parking lot in front.

New logo

Oh well, I think the mall is looking very nice and I think everyone will enjoy shopping in their new environment with a bigger selection of stores. Let's face it, the southern suburbs is as boring as a pine cone in Tokai Forest and stuff like this just help liven it up a bit.

Even the advertising for the new mall is cool, with fun promotional booklets giving discounts for the different stores to celebrate it's official opening. The website (click here) is even quite swanky! 

It is a far cry from the old Blue Route's advertising strategies, like this classic promotion from last year:

Too gehard!

Brilliant! Have an awesome weekend everyone.

Paint balling the Baboons

The front page of the Cape Argus on Wednesday was about the residents who live near the mountainside in Cape Town paintballing the baboons. It had this lame hardcore headline "Man vs. Beast in Paintball War". How can it be a war of the monkeys are not even fighting back? 
Suburban residents from Constantia, Tokai, Kommetjie and Scarborough now all have their own respective "Baboon Patrols" who move in groups of about 35 suburban moms, dads and grandparents all on the intricate mission to splat a devious monkey.

Image from IOL Cape Argus. A resident loads pellets into her paintball gun

As the baboons get smarter, the people get dumber. What's he gonna do if a baboon jumps in there? I don't think being stuck in a bin with an hungry ape is a good idea buddy.

No one comes between a baboon and his Tinkies

This issue also had a full centre-fold article further in the newspaper. Capetonions complain a shit lot about the dumbest things or even the hint at the slightest change to their beloved Cape.
SAN Parks, NSPCA and the Cape Nature Reserve have given these humble mum and dads the full on permission to use paintball guns to scare away the baboons or to use it if their are seen raiding their refrigerators and pantries for their Tinkies and left-over noodles from last week.

Looks like it's just bacon and toast for breakfast today.

The crime scene after a baboon has raided your Kellogs Box

Baboons are nasty I'll give them that, they are wild animals and can be scary. Not all the Cape baboons have evolved into kitchen raiders, apparently it's just a few troops who have smartened up and have developed a keen taste for the produce from Woolies and Pick 'n Pay. With that in mind, they couldn't more Capetonian than their human neighbours.
To be fair, Cape Town has been the homes of the baboons before the development of prime real estate near the mountains. It's something the fickle residents just have to live with and accept. They are complaining about the nature, and if they are so "traumatised" why don't they just move? The mountains and surrounding areas provide the right environment and food for the monkeys.
There's lots of wide open spaces that are monkey-free away from the mountains.....but I guess those areas are not considered as nice as they refused to make all suburban areas as pleasant as theirs. And whose fault is that? Certainly not the monkeys! Live with the consequences I say.

Awwwww.....

In the 1990s they employed an ape expert to help with the problem. She integrated baboon monitors to help keep the monkeys away from the residential areas. This still was not enough, and in 2007/8 somehow these residents were able to obtain funding from government's poverty relief program to get more monitors for their baboon balloon!
So while a child goes hungry, they can peacefully rest at night in their snug neighborhood while their Woolies cupcakes and low-fat salads are safe.


This whole situation is shit stupid. Paint balling the baboons is technically harmless and its a safe way to shoo them off and that's why it has been approved. These baboon patrollers now go walking around in their crocs, peak caps and shorts colouring any ape seen near the area.
If the paintballing is successful, by December there will be a new kind of Cape coloured round here with hues of neon pink, orange, purple, blue and green with furry tails....and a preference for Woolies greek salads over a peri-peri vienna and chip parcel from Aneesas.

An eye for an eye, a kidney for an iPhone

I completely support being an organ donor, with all the breakthroughs and advances in medicine we can now save many lives who can get a second chance in life. I think it's great.
Being an organ donor does not always mean someone has to die, it can also be one of the biggest gifts and selfless acts which gains another kind of reward in your life. For some, that reward is to get the latest iPad and iPhone or techno gadget because their is nothing as rewarding as having the coolest shit around town.

The Apple iPhone and iPad....the best thing since a beating heart. LITERALLY!

This was the case for a young 17 year old Chinese boy, who clearly would have done ANYTHING for a bit of Steve Jobbs paradise goodies. He literally gave his kidney away for an iPad and iPhone. A perfectly healthy functioning kidney!
Many times we hypothetically joke around saying how we would have to give and arm or a leg for something super expensive. In this case, it became real and this kid was not kidding.


It costs about an average of R700 and above a month for an iPhone anywhere in the world depending on your contract. Clearly, Apple is having a great sale on the phones, 'cos this kid has shown what the REAL value of this phone is. 

This is a ridiculous and also an incredibly sad story. The boy is not from a well-off family and just wanted in on what all asians love... fancy technology.
The kid has since suffered from renal failure, a serious condition where the kidney cannot remove dangerous toxins from the body. This means he has to be in hospital a lot, and where is he going to get the money for that?
The kid decided to respond to an advert he saw online that offered to buy kidney for about R24 000. The kid took his new found earnings and bought his Apple goods, but the rest of the money went to the surgeons and those who helped in the operation. In the end he only got 10% of the price promised....not that he cared.

Potty problems in the future? Whatever! Just a better excuse to be stuck on the can with my new iPad.

All kids want the latest toys, fashion and gadgets and usually give a moerse tantrum in the shop as their parents drag them away kicking and screaming after mom has said "NO!". 
Even if we had the internet back then, I doubt anyone would give their left lung for a My Little Pony or a bomber jacket.

Remember these? They were so cool, they were enough to take your breath away and with the exchange of your right lung they just as well could have!

China forbids the selling of body organs and hence these practices have succumbed to the black market. This sad story has brought out bigger issues, but I'm no t sure which one of these problems is bigger. Is it the fact that China's youth are willing to die for an American product to be cool or the fact there are actually surgeons actually willing to take a naive underage kid's body parts illegally for a quick buck?

This little girl gave up all her organs to go shopping at Disneyland. She is  happily operating on mechanical bits and  is officially a cyborg.

If anything, this issue has caused a huge embarrassment to the Chinese government and country....and you know there is no fucking with those two things in that country. Remember the bad batch of baby formula where the ingredients had been prioritised in 2008? It led to a few infant deaths and many being poisoned. The company's manager and his brother were immediately given the death sentence.

Geng Jinping and his brother Jinzhu were given the death sentence

Sanlu Milk products that contained poison

A friend of mine who's parents are from China said that when they execute the convicted, they send the family the bill for the bullet that killed him/her. If they find these quack doctors and agents who are responsible for this outcry, they are most likely to face the justice of China's government....especially as thing has went international. As for the kid, well he has had his own lifespan cut shorter and a lifetime of health problems that will prevent him from having a normal life. Well, I question how normal he was in the first place for going through all of this for a phone.

The Carrie Diaries

The Carrie Diaries is a new series that will take us back into the younger years of Sex and The City's Carrie Bradshaw's life. The actress to play the young Bradshaw is no other than AnnaSophia Robb who played the over-competitive "'Cos I'm a winner" Violet Beauregard in Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

As this show is supposed to be a back track of Carrie in her youth, it's going to be set in the 80s. I have a funny feeling 80s fashion is going to make a big come back if this show is as successful as SATC.

Robb wearing what happens when a Ninja Turtle mates with a  leopard at  Disco

The REAL SJP as a teenager. Doubt Carrie would have any sex adventures with that knitwear!

As a once devoted fan of the SATC series, they let very little insight into Carrie's or any of the other girl's backgrounds with them giving a few comments here and there. This was simply because the show was not supposed to be about the characters, it was supposed to be a focus on sex, relationsips and love in the modern world from the late 90s till the 2000s. 

Somehow the characters became bigger than sex or the city, and then the fashion became a 5th character. This was clearly shown in the movie spin-offs which were failures because it didnt focus on well...sex.  

The movies should never have been made.

The not-so-good fashion moments. Image 1: Carrie wears left over curtain material.  Image 2: Carrie wears a rain cloud on her shoulders.  Image 3: Carrie sleeps with Dumbledore and sneaks out with his clothes the next morning.

I'm not sure what to make of this new venture. The new Carrie is played by an 18 year old and it's got nothing to do with tackling the down and dirty of sexuality in the modern age, as it's still the 80s and she is a teenager. Plus, will be aired in the U.S during prime time for the whole family.
It seems like another ploy  to get ratings from the tweens. I'll watch it when it comes out. I am curious.


They have urged that the show will be in no way replacing SATC. They clearly just milking off it's former hype thats all.
In SATC, I remember Carrie saying her dad had left her and her mom when she was 3 years old, and she how she swiftly lost her virginity on a pool table at 16 years old. 

The real 4 legged beast of ultimate seduction.

There have been attempts to revive the idea of modern women in the Big Apple. There was a show with Brooke Shields called Lipstick Jungle which also tried to focus on 4 women but much more older and mature than those in SATC. It didn't last long.
So if the attempt to go into the future failed to be a success, how will this blast from the past?


So if the Carrie Diares is just a show focused on a girl and her life, then that means there will be no more critical analysis on a sex related topic, no case study which used to be shown through the four women, no humour and no conclusion to the problem or issue as Carrie types on her laptop. SATC was about sex, so it was't aimed at a specific demographic.

Also, I do clearly remember there was a flashback to the 80s in the show when Carrie was supposed to be in her 20s with Miranda, Samantha and another friend. Charlotte was not even in the picture in the 80s and early 90s apparently. Carries also reminisces in the movie how she came to New York in the 80s, so young Carrie cannot be based in NYC as a teenager.

First ever flashback I can remember on SATC from season 1 episode 10: The  Baby Shower

Anyway, we'll have to wait and see how this one pans out. 

Spaced Out!

Richard Branson has officially opened his own Spaceport in New Mexico. His aim is to make space travel an experience that can be open to the public, providing they can fork out $200 000 for the three and a half hour trip.
Before you think everyday people are going to go right into outer space like a REAL astronaut, these spaceships will only be doing sub-orbital spaceflights (click here to read more) which take you as far as the boundary of the Earth's atmosphere and space. You can still experience the floaty, weightless bit that most people would love to do.

The Virgin Galactic Spaceport in New Mexico

Recently that bone-head from That 70s Show, Ashton Kutcher, has signed up to be one of the first passengers on board. There have been numerous eager beavers signing up from the celebrity world. Brangelina, Katy Perry, Tom Hanks and even Stephen Hawking has signed up for a flight......he's probably hoping his shuttle will go through a black hole up there and make all his nerdy dreams come true. If they do go through a black hole, I hope Kutcher is on that flight so he can never return to make another lame comedy show and movie again.

In 1986, NASA attempted to make space travel a reality for all citizens, by having a private citizen on board for the first time. Like the other astronauts and engineers on board the Challenger Space Shuttle, the middle school teacher also had to undergo rigorous training to prepare her for outer space travel and the strain it has on your body.
The Challenger fiasco was supposed to be real deal, but the marketing/management chose to dismiss the technical warnings in their greed to make this an opportunity to rake in big bucks for the future. Sadly, after ignoring the warnings, those astronauts lost their lives 73 seconds into lift-off as the shuttle exploded with the faulty rocket booster that day. After that, NASA no longer conducted man flights into space anymore. Hence, that lame attempt to send that Wall-E cart onto Mars to get information instead.

Branson has ensured everyone that there will be no take off until everything has passed the safety checks and everything is in order. He hopes it will go from one flight a week to twice a day if all goes well and the orders come streaming in. Passengers will also have to undergo 3 days of pre-flight training.
With the Challenger tragedy, it does make one think if human beings are truly meant to be out there in space in the first place. We only went there through drive and determination out of sheer curiosity. It costs so much money, one has to go through so much physical training to just go beyond the Earth's atmosphere and there's so much risk involved.

If everything goes as planned the first commercial shuttle will go off at the end of 2012.


I travel abroad quite often, and I have come to hate flying. It's always too long and you are cramped in a tight space with a million people for sometimes more than 10 hours. With all this need to break new boundaries in travel and the immense marketing, why the hell can they not bring the effing Concorde back???!!
The reason the Concorde did not make a comeback was because of bad PR and poor marketing. That was it. The fatal accident in France in 2000 was due to an unclear runway. Now most of us have to endure economy class in all it's hell for way too long. Who's gonna regularly go visit family, go work abroad or go on a vacation in outer space?

Visiting Aunty Noreen was always an out of this world experience

Branson is super excited about overtaking this next innovative form of travel for the common man. He owns just about everything, and has created so many opportunities and provided healthy competition in the business world.
Can you imagine if it becomes a regular thing to do in the world, with each country having its own spaceport?
I can't imagine South African Airways even trying. They can't even get a person to Bloemfontein with a smile.

Trumping the Trophies

Hunting has been around for centuries as long as carnivores and omnivores have existed on this planet. Unlike, canned hunting, hunting for cavemen and other animals was not done out of pleasure but for survival. What was hunted and eaten all formed part of a very well balanced eco-system where numbers were in good balance depending where you were on nature's food chain.

Hunting for pleasure has and never will form part of the all mighty natural food chain, and has led to numerous precious animal species going extinct and many are on the brink of it.
Clearly, humans feel they are on top of the food chain and have a right to choose what forms part of the world's eco-systems for who/what gets to live and contribute to it in the future.


I recently read Donald Trump's 2 eldest sons, with equally bad hairstyles, went trophy hunting in Zimbabwe recently. The pictures of the terrible Trumps have caused an outcry as , the eldest one, Donald Trump Jr. is seen holding up a dead elephant's tail as it's owner lies dead to the right of the picture.

This is only one image of the many canned hunting trophies they achieved during their stay. They went on to kill a leopard, buffalo, gemsbok and a crocodile which they are all seen posing happily with their achievements.

Donald Trump himself is against hunting and does not partake in these ventures personally. The press went after him, but I don't think Mr. Trump is the one to go after. His sons are adults and their actions are their own, but sadly these two brats do represent daddy's empire.
It sickens me that there are still places like this on the African continent that are still around due to demand from rich ass foreigners who wanna get "wild".


These guys can have anything in the world and can clearly do anything they want. Yet, they choose to destroy life instead of helping maintain and create it in the wild.
The Trumps' only defense to the public was that cutting off the elephant's tail was part of one of the ancient customs in Zimbabwe, and that their killing would go as charity to feed the local villages.


I know Zimbabweans. None of them have ever expressed their love for Elephant roast with baked potatoes on a Sunday.

Better served in a stew.

Donald Trump Jr. also defended himself in that him and his brother were brought up hunting, as they used to go fishing with their grandfather. Comparing fishing to canned hunting for rare animal species is stupid.
I wonder what the price would be to hunt and destroy a Trump?

Mr. Buffalo in a pair of Buffalo hunting shoes.

......and what would the trophy souvenir be?

...why Mr. Trump's infamous toupee!!!