DSTV, you dik versin

I don't have DTSV, and I don't see why I should. Oddly, many people would ask me in surprise as to why I don't have it. I said I don't need it. I still don't.

When it first came back in the early 2000s, they offered all the cool channels and made it look so cool. It made a bit more sense, as internet in South Africa was relatively a new thing and if you did have it, it was slow. Also Google didn't exist back then and neither did torrenting.

Even then, when it was new, people were complaining at the constant repeats and many of the channels being made unavailable and that you needed to upgrade your plan to a pricier one to get all the channels. Rubbish marketing and rubbish service. Movies weren't new either, they only showcased tv shows and movies that were older than their DVD release.

Now showing

Jump to 2016 and many complaints ignored, DSTV has noticed the power of the internet and a serious loss of subscribers. Suddenly, their complaints about the service are noticed, seeing as they are not the only providers for the accessibility of entertainment in the country. Their ad campaigns starring some big shot TV star, and fancy visuals and short stories promoting the so-called benefits of DSTV bombard our basic MNET decoder driven screens.

Before, DSTV, sneakily increasing the subscription fees as they liked yearly to subscriber without actually improving or offering an extended benefit with the price increase. Now they offering 2 years with price increase. However, this is only of you take the most expensive bouquet or package which is between R900 and R1000!
Sorry, but that's still A LOT.

Nowhere in the world does it cost this must for entertainment services, especially for the television. Cable, as they call it abroad, is only around R300 per month, with over 60 channels. In many cases it comes with an internet service as well! They know they cannot compete with the rise and accessibility of entertainment available over the internet. It's just the way it is, so why not offer something realistically beneficial. People take it because, if they lazy they don't have to think what they want to watch etc. Nowadays, the TV packages come as am added plus to the internet, not the TV subscription itself.

Internet in South Africa is still expensive. However, for between R500 -R700 pr month for good internet means you can get all the best and unlimited shows and entertainment you want. It's still less than DSTV.

I'm not sure how DSTV has and was able to gain so much control over the broadcasting industry here. Slowly, as a ploy to get more customer they completely rid MNET of kid's tv viewing time. Good bye K-TV. Naturally, this led to many families with kids falling for the bait.
Now, you cant even watch a movie on MNET. The only time you can watch a film is on Sunday after 8pm, otherwise during the rest of the week from Monday to Saturday, the films all show after 12 am! the rest of the day time is filled with TV shows and repeats of those shows. Nice strategy.

The new DSTV campaign has some actor from Suits, talking us through the perks of DSTV and him going through his fancy apartment, wooing women with a single glance etc all while being the omnipotent narrator and how it's all due his DSTV viewing.
There's also this behind the scenes look at the making of these ads.

Ohh..he smells of DSTV..so sexy

As far as I know hiring a popular US actor to do these ads and using all these big names in the local industry takes a lot of money. Money used from over-charged customers. I guess there will be people who will fall for it if they like the character presented bu the actor.

Whatever, I'll stick to me cheap MNET decoder and SABC programs. E-tv still tops best movies whole week.

Taking the PIS-torius out of the Justice Sytem

So the verdict is out again on South Africa's own O.J Simpson...Oscar Pistorius. We have been bombarded with this case more than DSTV has been trying to get us to sign up to their crappy offerings.

Like O.J, Pistorius was the nation's darling of sport who overcame his disadvantages to succeeded and proudly wave the South African flag. Yet, behind the multi-coloured flag and bladed prosthesis was an over-inflated ego-pumped super star athlete who felt the world owed him everything.

He did it. He is guilty. Even before these trials, and schlep of a drama that graced our SABC screens whole day long, it was evident he did it. The final verdict last week declared that he was found guilty for the murder of his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp. All his crying and appeals for sympathy was only heard and even considered by the justice system because of one simple, and important, reason:

M-O-N-E-Y

Like most big shot sports stars....he had LOTS of it. He had lots of it even before he was an athlete anyway. He came form a posh, predominantly white suburb in Johannesburg with all the comforts and privileges a human could get.

Carte Blanche had this OTT interview with Pistorius giving a full on snot en traane display and a look inside his former home where the crime happened. The bathroom where he shot her has 2 doors. There was a separate door to the toilet. He walked into the bathroom, with a gun and shot her knowing she was in there screaming. Burglar my ass, that's what his lawyers told him say and maintain as there were no witnesses.

This was the same case for O.J, he had the money and means to build up a lame-ass alibi with the best lawyers.

These cases are high profile and much crime scene investigation goes into it. Why can't they then find these fabled criminals or burglars who have caused the crime? That's because there are no other suspects. Duh!

Oscar was sentenced to 6 years in prison. We all know he won't serve this measly sentence out. He doesn't care if he's guilty for killing someone, he obviously fElt above of. He will just want to get out and enjoy his life.....because he still has that privilege. Sadly, this is not the case for Reeva.

Reeva Steenkamp

Today, the Argus' Headlines were about how the head of some athletics board felt that Pistorius still has the possibility to partake in the 2020 Paralympics in Tokyo!!! The had officer reckons Oscar would have "repaid society" by then.

What The Major F*ck!

Reddy

There must be some serious money opportunities in it for SASCOC (South African Confederation and Olympic Committee) to want a convicted criminal and seriously deranged person represent the South African flag. Yes, that's right, he will be representing the country. A murderer.

Tubby Reddy, the chief of the Committee reckons that after Oscar had served his time, "he can live as a normal South African".

While normal South Africans have to live with a murderer moving amidst them. It's because of idiots like this is big places with big titles that people like Oscar can literally get away with murder and do what they like.

The South African justice system has failed us. To be really honest, it has always failed us. I can't even refer to it as a "justice" system. It has ALWAYS favoured the rich. Reeva's does not come from a  super wealthy family like Pistorius, so her family could not fight and get the justice they want. This is the case for almost all cases like this. A few months ago a girl of 16 was raped and murdered in Tokai forest. Her parents did not pursue the case and left it to our "justice" system to see to the killers. The killers are walking free, as they only got slapped with a shitty R1000 bail. Why? Well nobody was putting in their personal wealth to actually get a real court case.

Well done to .....

I think Oscar should hang up his blades for the Paralympic games, and rather compete in the shooting range division. However, even that would be unfair, as he can hit his target through a closed door without seeing even having to see it.

Yoh!...Postman Pat Goes Post Modern!

Wow! It's all I could say the morning I decided to switch on MNET, and stumble upon an upgraded version of an old childhood favorite, Postman Pat. Of course, nobody uses those clay animation stills anymore, you can easily do that will SFX for half the price. I have zero problem with that actually, however I had no idea how much of the story had changed concerning Postman Pat. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, a full blown drama with Pat having a full 360-degree personality.

Gone was the cat-loving virgin who did his daily rounds with his black and white cat, named Jess in the small town somewhere in England's countryside. A 15 minute-story that featured Pat making his small community happy by delivering their mail on time and receiving cups of tea from the the farmers and retired folk who live amidst the narrow roads that could only fit one car at a time. 

Always time of a cuppa tea!	The original cast and community
Cheeky sheep don't stand a chance in this town!	Giving more than just a hand....eeek

In fact, Pat never really spoke for himself as there was an omnipotent narrator who guided us kids through the episodes. The story was beyond simple, and the challenges had easy solutions. That was the last time I ever saw or heard of Pat......

That was probably more than 20 years ago.

Fast forward to 2016:

Postman Pat has a movie. A movie where Pat has indeed progressed to living beyond delivering letters and helping find lost sheep. Pat, real name Patrick Brown..oohh lalala, now has a family. He has a sweet wife named Sarah and football loving son named Julien! Woah!!!!

Hey Girl.......

Sarah and Julien are rather nice actually, and they keep a comfy double-story home in Greendale (the town's name). Pat's postal company has been upgraded to a well functioning warehouse that focuses on their employees well-being and has state of the art logistics going on. However, the postal company is sold and new management takes over and introduces pay cuts...and the ever dreaded new budget. This means Pat won't be able to go on that much needed romantic vacation with his wife to Italy....now the plot starts rolling.

In the movie, you can see Pat in casual clothes, outside of his usual uniform. He also enters a singing/Idols competition, hosted by a Simon Cowbell (lol), and makes it to the finals. He then progresses to become incredibly famous throughout England, and goes through the same over night popularity as Susan Boyle.

Apple or Samsung?

Thing is Pat can sing really well and eventually the fame get's to his letter-head (hahah..get it!), while the evil talent manager tries to destroy pat's postal company and career through reckless capitalistic exploits. The bad guy does this all through the use of modern technology and science which he controls through his smart phone. 



In the old Postman Pat the only technology used was the landline telephone and the drama came from ordering from mail catalogs.

Pat no longer deals with the issues of Post Office-ism, but rather the complexities of Post-Modernism in being a loving husband, dad, employee and artist all while climbing the corporate ladder in a flailing economy. What a guy!

Pat's singing voice was actually done by ol' Ronan Keating! Remember this dude from the late 90s and early 00s from Boyzone? Of course you do! You had their poster on your wall too ;). Rupert Grint, Ron from Harry Potter, also makes an appearance as computer game loving contestant. A real all-star British cast there.



Postman Pat, or shall I say Patrick Brown, has proven to us that our flailing economy in the Western world has shown that many have been driven to escaping into reality-TV fueled by our easy, free social media available through technology. This has caused many to aspire in becoming the next over night super star or get in on the get-rich-quick schemes. This is further promoted by overrated sensationalism which has fueled an obsession over celebrity culture from unworthy role models of super rich people gone viral over the internet.

F*ck the system!

The hardworking men and women of today are hardly recognised, nor their potential appreciated as it were before. Not even poor ol' Postman Pat could resist into the temptation in trying to make his mark and get some recognition for his worth in this world. He even went as a far as getting his pilot's license to deliver air mail. All the man wanted was to take his wife to Italy for a weekend for Pete's sake!

"Well, if this doesn't say "Service Delivery' then I don't know!"

Yoh..Idols..nogals.

The 'I' in Team

We've all been there. You are forced to work in a team and then you have to deal with that ONE person who needs to claim their status that they so benevolently bestowed upon themselves. This applies for teamwork everywhere, from schools, the everyday office, business or even sports!

You'll notice it doesn't matter what the topic or subject is, this person or people will want to do their part and everyone else's. To be honest there's different types of these spanners in the works type people. Let's take a look at the 'drukke':

• The I-Know-What-You-Should-Do person: This nool (slang for idiot) will alter and criticise every idea or part of the work you present to the project. they are the first to claim dibs on what section they want, but during meetings they will sit and work on your parts and then totally neglect their section. Yes, they do nothing but emit hot air.

• The Self Proclaimed Leader: They'll either act as the acting manager even if the manager is present in the next room. They'll also think their ideas or opinions are worth millions as only theirs counts or has value! Eeeeurgh!

• The Freeloader: We all don't want to work with this one, but are forced to. Usually this clown, is never interested and does minimal work with almost no valid contribution to the work. How they get the job or in this position is a mystery left for the X-Files.

• The Over-Thinker: You can never go to step two with this person. every aspect is over-analysed to a point of stupidity. These people waste time, keep the group back and totally miss the main focus point because they..well...OVER THINK EVERYTHING!

• The Control Freak: This person needs no introduction. A typical type A personality, they need to be involved in everyone's though process to ensure it's EXACTLY the same as theirs...down to the tee. Lord have mercy.

It doesn't matter where you go or where you work, these or one of these people will exist. They strengthen the core of all our eyeballs, as we land up rolling them a billion times throughout their presence.

Team work is an integral part of business development and life in general, and it offers a lot of self- development for ourselves professionally and personally.

Sadly, for some, working with others is just a platform for them to receive attention or stroke their egos due to some personal issues outside of the work place. I most cases, these 5 types of team non-players usually land up not learning anything from working with others or themselves because they've placed themselves in a position above or in one case they not even present.

What can you do?

Nothing! That's life and it takes all kind of people to make this world go round. Deal with it!

It's Oscar Time!

February was undoubtedly the month of the "Oscars", they were making headlines everywhere for weeks.
The Oscar Pistorius case was watched and anticipated just as many looked towards the other Oscars for the Academy Awards.

Every media or film artist aspires to get the golden Oscar. to have and hold and to display it in their not-so-humble homes in L.A.
For us everyday citizens in South Africa, the Oscars we have to put up with are nothing but a pain in the ass.

Recently, a friend posted a classic little article from IOL on a local pastor named Oscar Bougart from the Cape Flats in South Africa.(Read more here on IOL Cape Times:http://www.iol.co.za/capetimes/pistorius-cursed-for-supporting-gays-pastor-1.1477809#.US73bw60wQs.facebook)

February's Pin Up Boys

Dominee Oscar is a clear homophobe and believes the reason we have high crime rates is due to gays' MCQP parties corrupting our youth and society. Yes, because a pair of glitter platforms and cock-shaped balloons will no doubt lead to your ultimate downfall.

Say Power to the Flower

Mr. Bougart also said the reason that the other hell-raising Oscar (Pistorius) was "cursed in the limelight" because he supported a Gay Rights Campaign.

So we have an Oscar who hates women as lovers and the other who hates men as lovers.

In a nutshell, I guess the damning Dominee Oscar reckons if Oscar P. had hated gays he could have safely got away with murder.

You don't support gays or freedom of expression Dominee, but instead you support abuse and murder....providing it's done in a 'hetereo' way of course.

It's shameful how, not only can you get away with murder in South Africa, but also how any idiot can have a platform to 'wys 'n klomp kak' inside the court house and outside of it!

All Over A Parcel Of Fish And Chips

Last year a bill of secrecy was passed because our no-good government decided they did not want to be embarrassed any more.  This certainly does not count up for the fact that they are embarrassment to the whole of South Africa. They government claimed they were "updating a legislation that was drawn 30 year ago"..yes because 30 years ago."We had Apartheid so they definitely didn't want anyone to know what crap they were getting up to.

This bill was simply given out of anger by many of thieves who run our country and a tantrum by the president who didn't want people to know he liked vrieting slap chips with hake.
Where else in the world would dite be taken so seriously?

GET REAL!!!

It seems nobody in government cares what other think of their petty crimes and downfalls, but they do care about cartoon adverts. As the old people like to say,"It's a Mickey Mouse show".

There were many outcries by big fancy intellectual people who gave their opinions in the newspaper and many complaints from the public smses section on how this demeans South Africa's "adolescent democracy".

Spot the difference!

To be honest, we have been a democracy for almost 20 effin years...how young are we as a democracy?? When will it grow out of it's diapers and stop kakking all over the place??
Most countries who had changed to democracies out of dictatorships take about a maximum of 10 years to go through a complete revolution in policies and economic re-structuring. This type of restructuring is also dependent greatly on how unified the society is and willing and not how indifferent they are too other's problems.

There's probably a good reason why South Africa have an ill-fitting government like this. They cannot work alone and are certainly covering up for all the other skelms (thieves) who walk among us everyday with their shitty employee conditions and low pay.

Well, if the people who are supposed to help raise it are giving tantrums about fish and chip parcels or avoiding responsibilities, then the country will only reflect what it has been taught. 

Here you can watch the evils of the South African media in all it's glory....

Dread Those Threads

Oh I love it! This was supposed to be one of the latest trends for men's fashion this year at a fashion show in London.

You dik kwaai!

When Gummy Bears Go Gay

We all love our favourite cartoons and their fun characters when we are but wee whipper snappers. They hold special places in our hearts as they kept us glued to the screen and out of your parents way during the afternoons.
The reason most cartoons are not taken seriously is because they are a vice for keeping the kids quiet and occupied and you can always go and buy the merchandise from the t.v show if it's not currently playing.

The Ukraine recently conducted a study on children's shows around the world on how it can be ill-fitting for their burgeoning youth. They studied kids' shows from around the world to show what adverse effects it had on young potty un-trained minds.

These are one of those ridiculous studies conducted by some random university in the middle of nowhere who had somehow collected the funds to conduct such crazy research and still have it published. These articles usually get published in the small front page section of the Classifieds of the Argus in Cape Town.

They claimed Futurama, Teletubbies, Pokemon, The Simpsons and Spongebob all looked to destroy the moral fibre of the family unit.

Why?

One of the Ukranian psychologists (who had a name with no vowels in) reported that the cartoons caused 3-5 year-olds to "pull faces and make jokes in front of adults they don't know, laugh out loud and repeat nonsense phrases in a brazen manner".

They made it sound like the kids have been possessed, but let's face it all toddlers act like that, whether they watch cartoons or not.  

In fact, that behaviour defines most adults too.

The results showed that:

• Spongebob reinforced homosexuality. I can only imagine the role Gary the Sea Snail must offer in that fruit shaped house.

"Ripped?....I think not!

• The Teletubbies promoted acting like a loser who watches too much t.v as cool and made looking deformed as normal. Most middle-aged  men look like Teletubbies and watch too much tv.

Deformed? Just slap on some spanx and we got twins.

• Shrek contained sadism.

Tweak that shit! Brings a whole new meaning to purple nipple.

• Japanese Anime contained sexist propaganda. Let's face it, the sexism in anime is what provides half of it's appeal.

The Bob's your bitch.

In my opinion, it's when you make it forbidden, you make it more tempting. It's human nature.

It seems the Ukraine doesn't want the kids to have fun. I guess they can always go and cut up foreigners travelling around town (the move Hostel) to make up for the lack of Cartoon Network.