What about prince charming?

There are so much colouring books and merchandise on the Disney princesses but the Disney princes don't appear anywhwere. I flipped through Disney Princesses activity book whole waiting in the check out line at Checkers one day, you see Princesses Ariel, Jasmine, Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty (whose evil step mother used to be my fave as kid!) and Belle/Beauty and the beast chick.

Who said big sleeves and big hair were out?

Sadly they didn't include Nala the lion who hooked up with 'ol Simba. Simba was the Lion King of Africa, literally, but he was actually a good looking lion. Now before you think I'm into beastiality or something shit stupid like that, you have to admit he was a handsome lion. Most of those characters are based on their voice actors' faces so they do have anthropomorphic qualities amidst their hairy mugs. To be honest, Simba looked like a hot surfer dude, all anti-meat and killing of animals as he lived the 'alternative lifestyle' with that meerkat and warthog on the outskirts of the sahara. Let's face it, Simba's mane looks like a well maintained coif.

I just can't wait to be king.......

I think this guy has a likeness of what Simba could have looked like if he was human. This guy was not Simba's voice, it was actually Matthew Broderick. 
Most of the Disney Princes have all looked polished, buff and completely dumb. By dumb I mean they are not able to talk at all. Technically they are Ken dolls....nothing but an accessory.

Although, I won't lie Aladdin kind of broke your average prince charming by being the first non-white knight in shining armour. Plus, in his story he doesn't save the princess but she saves him as she becomes the sugar mommy and makes him rich. I thought Aladdin was good looking, and to be honest he does look like he could typically belong anywhere between Rylands and Grassy Park in Cape Town....you know the kind who drives his Citi Golf every Thursday to Galaxy and on Saturdays to Camps Bay and to the city to vang on kak.

Perry Heslop. You da bomb!

This Perry Heslop, the ultimate fail as we know it. For those of you who don't know who he is, he is Muriel's (from the movie Muriel's Wedding) lay-about no good unemployed brother who sits on a green couch and watches cricket whole day is a state of delusion.


He's the kind of character you fear to become or at least hope your kids don't. Unfortunately,  there have been some moments where I have actually sympathized with this character such as when I was unemployed at one point and feeling hopeless. I dunno, he just epitomizes the ultimate persona of uselessness when you're at the bottom of it all. Please don't ever tell me you don't get days when you feel like that, we're all human after all.

" 'Cos you're a Dancing Queen....."

As far as Muriel's Wedding goes, that's one kick ass movie and I miss going to my friend Annie in Grassy Park, buying a Bona vienna and chip parcel with peri-peri powder and a 2 litre coke and guzzling it while watching this masterpiece of a film.